Joy-Sucker!

Hi all!  Can you believe it is mid-April already?  I can’t – it seems this year is flying by!  I must say, today’s post is super personal.  I wrestled for a few days with the idea of writing it on my blog, thereby releasing it to the vast audience of cyberspace (or, since I’m convinced not many people read this, those who randomly stumble upon it while googling something strange).  As you can see, I have chosen to post it.  That being said, here is a warning: this is a very personal blog – sorry to delve so deep and share so much!  Read on if you dare ;)

You’ve heard of a fun-sucker, right?  The guy or gal who always has to ruin the party, the parent who always says no, or the friend who always sits in the corner pouting?  Not cool.  Fun-suckers are just not cool, y’all!  But have you ever considered someone or something a joy-sucker?  Yes, I think I just made that term up – but roll with me.  Similar to a fun-sucker, a joy-sucker would be someone or something that sucks the JOY out of everything.  What’s the main joy-sucker in my life right now?  The nasty, three-headed, fire-breathing thing called comparison.  I would venture to say that most people have at one time or another struggled with this.  (Shhhhhh, I won’t tell anyone!) Allow me to explain.

 “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Have you heard this quote before?  I have heard it many times, but never really thought it applied to me.  FALSE.  As of late, all I can seem to do is compare myself - to everything and everybody.  Seriously?  I’m 26, happily married and living in a city I love.  Not to mention we have an adorable little pooch!  Why do I compare?  Talk about not really doing myself any favors and robbing myself of joy.

One of the main things I am guilty of comparing is our “position”, if-you-will, in life.  Nearly 3 years into marriage, and 4 years out of college, what do I have to show for myself?  Everyone around me (and I do mean everyone) is pregnant, buying a house, going on extravagant vacations, shopping at name-brand stores and just generally moving up in life!  We are still in an apartment, trying (and for the most part succeeding!) to save money for a down payment on a home, shopping at discount stores and only have a dog to show.  I can’t help but think where we could be if life had gone one of a zillion different ways in the past few years.  But I simply CANNOT do that to myself, or quite frankly, to hubby.  He has worked so hard to finish school, get a big-boy job (he hates that I still say that!), move to a new city, leave his family and support me through everything.  It just isn’t fair to him.  Or to me.  Or to us.  Or to Him who has so richly blessed us.  Why can’t I seem to let go already?

Because I am great at making lists.  And I am super great at making a pro(s) and con(s) list.  This is not the least bit helpful in my quest to begin to be thankful for what I have and stop comparing myself and hubby to those around us!  As silly as it seems, I break things down into said list, and usually focus on the con(s) side of this list.  Hello!  There’s no wonder my joy just goes out the window sometimes!  I CANNOT do that.  I CANNOT do that.  No, Jordan, no!  I CANNOT do that.  Believe it or not, I have to tell myself (and hubby has to lovingly remind me) that I CANNOT compare myself.  I CANNOT compare us.  I CANNOT go looking for reasons to feel sorry for myself or my current situation.  I CAN be thankful for everything.  How about, for starters, that I have a roof over my head and a family that loves me?  It is a constant battle for me, to choose joy.  (Notice, it is a choice.)  I have been given and have been blessed with so much - so much more than I deserve.  I (and you!) need to stop comparing, and be joyful!

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post!  I’ll leave you with 3 quotes that I really like and I think sum it up.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Abraham Lincoln

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
John Wooden

“It is His joy that remains in us that makes our joy full.”
A. B. Simpson

Peace, love, and JOY!
xoxo