Lonestar Lagniappe

Well...where to start?  I have sat down to write this post several times.  And each time, no words came.  Only tears.  I'm not great at sharing, whether that be my french fries or my feelings.  I hate being open because, if I'm being honest, I've been burned in the past.  I guess it's part ' who I am ' and part defense mechanism. But I also hate pretending everything is fine.   It's not . Chances are, if you've seen me in the past few months, I've been mostly happy.  I probably smiled at you, waved at you, let you hug me, and replied "fine" or "good" or "well" to your question, 'How are you doing?"  But the truth is, I have (we have) been battling our greatest battle over the past 6-8 months.  I'm going to tell you about it, briefly, in this post. I should start by telling you my lifelong desire, my deepest hope, was that I would be a Mommy.  That's all I've ever wanted.  I imagined 3-4 ...